For most of us, burnout doesn’t happen over night. It’s a gradual process like draining a battery, using up gas in our car, or burning up wax in a candle.
I acknowledge that the process of living our lives and therefore draining our energy stores, just like our cell phone battery, is unavoidable. However, we run into trouble when we ignore the early signs that our energy stores are running low and wait until we’re completely out before refueling.
Burnout can look and feel different for everyone but it is generally described as a feeling of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress and overwork.
You may feel a sense of overwhelm coupled with an inability to cope with the demands of daily life. You may feel detached from others and perhaps a bit of cynicism. Worst of all, you may feel a reduced sense of accomplishment, perhaps leading to feelings of helplessness, incompetence or failure.
When you’re in burnout, it can be very hard to see a way out, especially when external circumstances feel out of your control.
The first step to finding relief is awareness and acceptance. If you know you are in a state of burnout, it’s counterintuitive to demand growth, progress, or efficacy from yourself. We cannot expect 100% effort with 10% energy.
Even if you can only take one step today toward feeling 1% less terrible, those small deposits can add up over time.
There are many ways that you can begin the recovery process from burnout (listed below) that you’ve probably already tried at some point. If you haven’t, I invite you to skim through and try ONE of them today. But I also wanted to offer you some additional insight around common patterns of burnout as well as some preventative measures that you can take so that you can start breaking the cycle of burnout for good.
(*If you frequently experience burnout, I recommend seeking some professional support to gain some awareness around steps to take to avoid it in the future.)
But First, REST
If you are in the midst of burnout, rest is a very important part of recovery. But it’s more than just sleep or plopping in front of the TV. In no particular order, these are tips that I and my clients have found particularly helpful.
Go to bed early
End the day intentionally and get the rest you need. Making a powerful decision around your sleep schedule is the best way to start a new day – by ending the previous one gracefully.
Take regular naps (10-20 minute intervals)
Your body is recovering from prolonged periods of stress which means that many of your systems have been working in overdrive, leading to longer recovery periods. Frequent power naps can boost cognitive function and lower stress levels in the short term and it’s much cheaper than caffeine.
Take short walks, preferably outside (5 minutes can do wonders)
Sun exposure (without getting burned) resets your circadian rhythm. Fresh air, movement (specifically, variety in movement), and a change in environment can provide much needed rest as well as inspiration for ways to continue supporting yourself through this difficult time.
Cold splashes (pro tip* take a 30 second cold shower if you can stand it)
I did a deep dive into the benefits of cold therapy when I began training for my first triathlon and I have to say that I never felt more energized and alive than during that time. Even a short cold splash on your face, neck, or arms can do wonders.
Guided Journal Prompts
I say “guided” because it can be really tempting to feel overwhelmed at the thought of trying to push through the brain fog to come up with something to write. Some ideas to consider: write down 3 things you’re grateful for, 3 “wins” to celebrate, a love letter to yourself, or an encouraging letter to yourself from a future version of you.
Change up your work environment
Your environments have a powerful affect on your energy. By cultivating your environment intentionally, you will inspire and nurture a culture that will have a rippling effect. Some examples might include: de-cluttering, adding plants, adding alternative light sources, incorporating a rug, getting a standing desk, changing your work chair, or reorganizing your work space.
If it’s not putting food on the table, take it off your calendar!
This can be a hard one but it’s an important step in learning how to set healthy boundaries. I encourage my clients to be authentic around the things they choose to put on their calendar as our time is the most precious, nonrenewable resource that we have and no matter who we are, we only have 24 hours of it in any given day. When you are in a state of burnout, you prolong it by maintaining the status quo which is why I operate from the very simple rule, “If it’s not putting food on the table, take it off your calendar.” It gives a very clear delineation between what is necessary and what is not. (Hint: most things are optional.)
Prepare for burnout ahead of time.
For many of us in emotionally draining careers working in the realm of generating social impact, there is a forceful culture that does not take into account the human condition. I’ve watched many professionals work tirelessly for weeks, sacrificing all but their very lives for causes that they feel beautifully motivated by.
I get this on a deep, foundational level. Because of this, I am very sensitive about not extinguishing the fire of purpose that drives many of us.
However, as humans there are limitations to our mental, emotional, and physical capacities. By pushing ourselves to the point of burnout, we become less effective overall and much of the work we have done up to this point can suddenly unravel. Adam Grant famously quoted in his book, Atomic Habits, “You do not rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.“
If you have chosen a socially impactful career, you have probably willingly signed up for an emotional roller coaster ride. Let’s decide today not to be surprised by that anymore. Instead, let’s focus our energies on fortifying yourself with a practice that lessens the gaps between the hills and valleys – particularly the valleys – and plan ahead of time by gaining awareness around what your typical burnout cycle might look like for you.
Avoiding burnout requires a mindset shift around the way we approach our work. Many of us fall into burnout because of slippery core beliefs that I share below.
Before reading any further, I created a graphic of what a typical burnout cycle might look like that you can access here. Your experience is not unusual. Just by gaining awareness around my own patterns and tendencies, I was able to stop myself at different stages ahead of time without falling into the same patterns from my past thereby saving myself the significant time and energy that it takes to recover from burnout. Hopefully you will be able to experience a transformation around your own burnout experiences simply through examining your own life and recognizing your own patterns.
Stage 1: Working HARD
There’s hard and then there’s working HARD. There can be a lot of motivations behind the latter but most people know that they’re in this state of working HARD when they know that the energy required to maintain discipline at this level is not sustainable in the long run. Oftentimes being in the state of working HARD is accompanied with thoughts like:
T – I’m not doing enough
T – I’m not there yet
T – I don’t deserve success yet
T – I won’t be taken seriously without overworking
T – I have to do this, I don’t have a choice
T – There’s still so much I have to do
Here’s the problem with these kinds of thoughts: it assumes that you are working towards a destination that is better there than here. Spoiler alert: it’s not. In life, we will always be subject to the human condition of 50% positive/50% negative experiences. In addition to that fact, our brains were actually designed to be biased toward the negative for our own self-preservation. As soon as you recognize yourself falling into the trap of trying to change this equation, the more empowered you will be in pacing your energy and re-centering yourself. Especially in socially impactful careers, we will likely not see our vision come to fruition in our lifetime – all we can do is not give up the good fight until it’s time to pass along the torch to the next generation. (Download guide here)
Stage 2: Self-Sabotage
Acting out
There’s a difference between processing an emotion and letting that emotion (coming from a reactive place i.e. out of self-preservation instincts and not logic) drive the decision making. You may know someone who you might describe as reactive or over-reactive which is characterized by taking an action that doesn’t logically meet the situation at hand. Ex. Yelling at someone for accidentally bumping into you.
Avoid processing my emotions through buffering activities
This is any activity that we participate in in order to avoid processing an emotion. For some of us, it’s working HARDER. I’m often guilty of using work as an escape because of the reward mechanism AKA dopamine hit I get when I accomplish another task on my to-do list. Other activities might include excessive drinking, drugs, porn, eating, sex, reading/learning, sleeping, exercising – really anything could be considered buffering if it’s an action used to avoid an emotional experience by giving you a temporary hit of dopamine.
Participate in negative self-talk
When we begin to ignore the signs our bodies give us to take the time necessary to refuel and re-energize, our performance will suffer. But many of us don’t take ownership of this fact – myself included – and decide that we need to punish ourselves more by participating in negative self-talk.
Many of us sabotage our goals and missions simply by not learning the simple yet hard lesson: we need to have our own back.
Having our own back means that no matter what, we are going to be the loving, respectful, accepting and encouraging voice in our heads, not the critical, harsh voice that unreasonably expects perfection from ourselves. We are our life’s longest relationship. It’s best if we approach it by considering ourselves our best friends, not our worst enemies. (Download guide here)
Stage 3: Burnout
At this stage, you might feel a number of physical sensations and emotions. On the physical side, you might be experiencing intense fatigue, an energy drain, brain fog, a sense of dehydration, muscle stiffness or soreness, tension in your body, or more frequent headaches/migraines. You might feel depressed, overwhelmed, a sense of hopelessness, listlessness, or jadedness.
It’s tempting now to cancel or withdraw from commitments to yourself or others. You might stop taking care of yourself, letting go of personal hygiene and grooming, and/or allowing your spaces to become cluttered, dirty, or disorganized.
If you find yourself at Stage 3 or in Burnout, the most important thing to remember is not to judge yourself for it. The second most important thing to remember is to be honest with yourself as to why you are now in this position. What led to this experience of burnout for you? The most helpful way to look at this is by taking ownership of ALL of it. By doing so, you will be able to look to the future from a position of accountability and make changes from a more confident place.
However, if you don’t take ownership or ignore the responsibility you have to your results, you may find yourself in stage 4. (Download guide here)
Stage 4: Buffering
It takes a highly developed sense of awareness to recognize when one is buffering. Buffering is very attractive because it takes the edge off of our pain with little hits of dopamine. As humans we are programmed to avoid pain/discomfort, seek pleasure, and exert as little effort as possible. The problem with buffering is that we are not being authentic with ourselves through an experience. We miss out on an opportunity to deepen our relationship with ourselves. We miss out on getting to know our own power and strength.
By buffering, we may also be prolonging the pain of an experience rather than leaning in and processing it in the moment.
Throughout my life I’ve been trying to reconcile the purpose behind the experience of discomfort, of tension, of the pain that inevitably comes when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable to the full spectrum of life’s physical and emotional experience. What I’ve come to find is that there is a certain beauty in pain that cannot be understood unless we welcome it and lean into it.
If you find yourself participating in a buffering activity a lot, set a timer for 5 minutes, sit alone, and observe: what is happening in your mind? What are you feeling in your body? What do you have the overwhelming urge to do? Where are you feeling tightness, pinching, heaviness? What is your internal dialogue? Breathe into the experience, then write your impressions. (Download guide here)
Stage 5: Fed up!
If we are not able to get a hold of our buffering, many of us go into a state of intense disappointment, frustration, self-loathing, or we are simply “fed up” with ourselves. We decide to make a change at this stage not from a place of love but from a place of will power and possibly anger. We are fed up with our circumstances, fed up from the hangovers, the weight gain, the lethargy, the messy living conditions, the poor work performance, the circumstances that we suddenly have a surge of energy to want to change because we can’t stand to be with ourselves any longer.
The problem with making changes to our circumstances from this kind of a mindset is that the changes are made impulsively, without curiosity or awareness, and are therefore unsustainable.
We can absolutely make changes in the short term with this burst of energy fueled by self-loathing but more often than not, without any awareness around the thought patterns that led to this moment, we will find ourselves in the same work habits, the same self-sabotaging activities, and ultimately in BURNOUT. AGAIN.
Rather than getting fed up with ourselves, take the opportunity to really get curious about your current experience. It takes self-acceptance and self-respect but by doing so, you can begin to process through the burnout rather than trying muscle it away. (Download guide here)
Stage 6/1: Back to HARD work
And here we are, at the top of the cycle, running ourselves into the ground, perhaps running away from the constant barrage of self-critical talk by overcompensating with your workload.
We must understand that the self-critical talk has worked for us. It’s gotten us to where we are today. Because we continue to engage with it, it continues to be our default strategy to create results.
Again, our brains are biased to the negative for our own self-preservation. It used to mean the difference between life and death. Our brain loves problems and will look for them all day if we let it.
However, using the tools and concepts I shared above, you may find that there is another way to approach our work. We as a species have evolved. We are in effect walking miracles. We are innovative, courageous creatures that have so much to be proud of. We can accomplish our missions in a way that is energizing, uplifting, and compounds our positive results. The key is having your own back.
My sincerest wish for you today is that you never give up on the amazing mission that you have set out to achieve, either in your personal or professional life. I see incredible leaders like you every day and the force that you are in the world. It’s inspiring to work with and alongside people like you. My mission is to support your work and your mission towards creating positive impact in the world.